Not everyone can be as honest with themselves as you are. A blog is not really a blow by blow. At least i dont think so. It's whatever the writer (i refuse to say author, it's not fucking literature) wishes it to be.

you're down on censoring but you're censoring the fact that they want to present their world view (which is sadly censored). Like i said, not everyone is honest. Not even you, but that may be for my benefit. Though do realize you dont exactly always divulge everything. You yourself say that mig81 is your baby, that it must be perfect - and in saying that you do insinuate that there is a general appearance, framework, website identity, that you want to present at the world at large. And that is still a manicure - maybe with black nail polish or hell white out - but it's still an edition, emission and trimmings.

still, the views of tom's wife might not be his own. they might be. but it seems rather crude to disregard him because of his 'censoring', after all it is a family blog. Meaning anyone in their family could be reading it - from 6 to whatever.

or whatever. i'm probably talking outta my ass.

my japanese sexuality class got cancelled. :( mourning the loss of the hentai studies. :P oh well. there's still freud.

edit: to the world at large.

also, you do acknowledge you're not quite total disclosure but still it stands that you do not a) talk about your real internal miseries (not this general i hate the world shit but the real things that fuck with your mind ie: for me, my horrible elektra complex), b) the real things you chase after and c) who the fuck you really are and all those vulnerabilities.

hypocrisy is indeed unavoidable. but your definitions and beliefs do not apply to the world at large. if you're gonna mad at dopehead then you should be mad at me too - cuz you know i censor you almost completely out of my life to certain people and if i ever had a blog in the same manner as tom and his wife - then yes i would do the very same thing. and you might as well - if you happened to marry into a psychotically conservative (redundant) family such as mine or... tom's i guess.

and since im here, wasting time before class starts. i take offense. me not rational???
:P

oh who cares. i'm just another pussy right? one pussy in a field of cocks. .... hrm... interesting imagery. anyways. BLAH!!!!!!!

take care of yourself. enjoy the schoolgirls.

Ah, thank you; this is the exact thing I needed; this is why I post shit like this - because you are the only person in the world who can call me on my shit well, meine Liebe; being a masochist, I could think of nothing better.

Now, to answer your questions: Yes, indeed, no one can be as honest with his or her own self as much as I can - not even I; I, however, am asymptotic to the truth; Tom (dopehead), on the other hand, is a fucking pussy.

Baby, baby, baby, do not look for contradictions in me, because Whitman is my shield and bullshit is my sword (eww, what a mental image); have you even read mein "Cliché Manifesto"? You have been the only person in the world, to date, to be privy to its second version, you know. ;) Anyways, contradiction is nothing to me; I am asking people to be honest to themselves, not seek Truth with a capital T.

Oh, mon amour, but I do not insinuate; I understate; I do not not say anything; I unsay things; I speak things in ways meant not to be heard. If you catch on, I have told the truth; if I don't, I still have told the truth. Yes, it's as fucking bourgeois as you can get, but, at least I am honest with myself. Black nail polish - for this alone I regret I am not a woman; black nail polish and stockings. That's fucking hot.

Beg your pardon, mi amore, but "Family blog" is one of the stupidest fucking contradictions, is it not? Family is about secrets (need I tell you that?); blogging is about flagrant exhibitionism. There is no middle way. I would have loved to read my own blog when I was six. That would be totally fucked up in a really tripped-out way.

You taunt me, woman! Japanese sexuality is at least one of the reasons I'm here; it's like I'm obvserving a mega-psychological experiment every day. What a fucking pity (pun not intended) about your class. Oh well; perchance they are offering a class in dirty stories?

Internal miseries are cliché and banal; do you want me to bore my audience to death? There is a difference between selective editing and selective presentation. What would be the point of posting every angsty urge I get? I shudder at the thought.

Ah-ah! Contradiction; it doesn't apply to me. I am exempt from it, having diplomatic immunity. So, no, things I say cannot be generalised to anything at large; I forgive my own necessity because it is for your sake; and I forgive yours because it's objectively crucial (and vice-versa vis-à-vis your own censorship, if you will). Tom (dopehead), and his wife, however, are married; whatever I say cannot come between them, especially if it is so elemental to human nature...unless they are not honest with themselves and each other; but it's not even that; it's the denial of their parents' sexuality and their own dirty, dirty urges, and the illiterate righteousness of Tom's wife that really get to me.

Well, I'm not running the risk of marrying into Tom's family; as for yours, desperate necessity would call for desperate measures; I can't see how in Tom's case my resistance to his self-deception can outweigh his happiness, Utilitarianistically speaking, except if he vehemently denies his own human nature, of course; in my (or our case), the sacrifice of truth (with a lowercase t, at that) would be a small price to pay for my (our) happiness; and, yes, I am the judge of all these measures, in case you were going to ask.

Finally, take no offense, because you know why ni xihuan wo and also because this is all bullshit anyways, because I am right and Tom (dopehead) is wrong, and the world belongs to me and he is a small pawn in what is an otherwise a magnificent master plan to eat the eggs of a Borneo crocodile lizard changing colours at the slightest sign of a change of the political winds that sway the fields of cocks through which Marcel Duchamp walks slowly holding on to a cane which turns out to be the penis of Salvador Dalí and Dalí says to Duchamp: "You can let go now; my painting is finished." and Duchamp lets go and the entire world explodes in a symphony of carnivorous genital hunger since one pussy in the field of cocks is not enough to eat so the pussy eats the cocks and the cocks become the teeth in the mouth of the pussy a vagina dentata that smiles with the smile of a politician who says "Hrm. Interesting imagery."

I'll eat you first and then you'll eat me and we'll see what's what the schoolgirls protest their pussies having deserted to be the mouths of other politicians themselves unsexed and stripped of their sailor insignia although still recruited into the British Royal Navy to mop holy jissom with the colours of the French flag in cases of national emergences [sic] singing "Horst Wessel Lied" at the top of their lungs bawling with crocodile tears memories of breast tips and wing tips and the tips of birds' wings and the otherwise erotic hairdo of the president of Japan who was scalped for his magnificent hide as I was shouting by the camera shouting back from my own ass connecting to yours by twelve feet of penusoidal plumbing you are not just another pussy you are another two pussies and therein lies the trick drink me and I will go away eat me and I will come.

Fuck the schoolgirls I said to the mushroom queen I want you to stick green army men into my ear canal it gets me so hot and for breakfast to serve me Belgian waffles with a large basque hand grenade and a note saying "Your time will come."

So just because you accept your... erroneous contradicting nature it's totally fine for you to contradict yourself? i'm sorry but that's just... illogical. and yes righteous as well.

what makes you able to judge tom and his wife and their situation?

or mine?

you are only judge of your own darling bear.

family blog? perhaps it is for the rest of their family to enjoy, a limited audience, limited exhibitionism - like walking around your room naked. or the pictures i sometimes take.

true they are not posted anywhere. but despite my pride, necessity dictates that i cannot.

perhaps the case is the same for tom. I only suggest that you are being too black and white.

maybe.

in response to a pussy in a field of cocks, written fittingly in my freud class during a lecture of sexual perversions and aberrations.

the tale.

prowling, it enters the coop
and waits

in hunger, in desperation
the cat waits
       it waits good

days had passed
its last meal
long swallowed
       engulfed

so it waits
the pussy
       cat yearning
preying

a cock will
       come
to protect
       the coop
       its hens
       itself

the hens
       will flee
in a fluttering
       frenzied white
       and red glimpses
fearing the taint
       the stain, dye
       of bleeding red.

the puss alone
remains
       with cock together
locked in combat

time passes
       the cock crows
       calling, mating

and the pussy
               cat
       stalks stealthily
       sensing the cock
salivating, hungering
       melting in hunger

but there are
               no hens
no teasing white
       or tainting red

       but a sea of brown
a flood of darkness
a field of cocks
       pecking, crowing
       strutting

the puss
       cowers, cornered.
alone in a field of cocks
no longer preying

but vulnerable
       splayed

a thrill travels
       through the pussy
       cat
venturing

it skirts
       it flirts
       it taunts

and the cocks'
       heads rise
roused
       aroused

slowly they near
       they circle
       they tease

then
one thrusts forward
       one lunges
       pecks

and the kitten
       shudders
       shivers
as they swarm
they huddle
       a gang

and the pussy dies
       gushes
       and melts

a little death
       invading
in each breath

so ends
       the tale
       of the cocks and
the pussy.

it ate my tabs. blast it!!!

Yes, absolutely! I am, after all, the ultimate dictator of the known and unknown universe. I set the rules and decide upon who is exempt from them. You are; I am; Tom is not; end of story. Don't tell me you believe in a fair world, in a just world; I am merely upholding the status quo. Look up "righteous," my love; I hardly think I fit the description, since it means "moral" and "virtuous." You are probably going for "self-righteous" ("confident of one's own righteousness, esp. when smugly moralistic and intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others") and so, yes, yes I am; guilty as charged. What else is new? Better to be self-righteous than self-deceptive, methinks.

Aww, you are my mother...or at least you're channeling her right now. ;) I judge others because no one else will; not society, not the law, not god (and I know, because I talk to him quite frequently now). I am, however, hardly the best judge of myself, sweetie; in fact, you are. I am, however, the best judge of my world.

Wait, let me get this straight...you are comparing walking around your room naked (i.e. exhibitionism in private) to posting censored versions of reality on the World Wide Web (i.e. veddy, veddy public)? Aren't you contradicting yourself, my dear? Heh; it's fine by me, however. Even so, you are comparing polite human society to the Internet - in itself an exercise in futility.

The Internet is a gift of freedom, without the same social constraints and boundaries the societies of the world at-large have; my contention is that to remain within those boundaries on the Internet is lowly, unless it is essential for one's existence; but not life - existence. I judged Tom's readership and corresponding behaviour as prudish and, therefore, despicable. Whether it is my place to do so, is, as we are seeing here and now, is open for debate, but the fact that I am condemning him for an unnecessary layer of hypocrisy in an already de facto hypocritical existence still stands.

At any rate, logically speaking, doing what Tom is doing with his blog is, more appropriately, tantamount to walking with clothes on - in public. I'm afraid you will need to come up with a better metaphor. ;) Once again, I cannot argue with what you call necessity and what I call existence. I have judged your needs as existentially-vital and Tom's as non-vital to his existence and therefore chose to despise his self-censorship and censorship of my own words, but not yours.

Heh, you must forgive my amusement, my love, but you are telling a bipolar, bisexual man, who runs a site designed in black, white and red, whose slogan is "2+2=5" that he is being "black and white." ;) There is a lot of humour here, is there not? Another one of my personal slogans is "Life is a love affair with your conscience." I go to bed with an easy heart about my words and my actions.

mig81.com is, first and foremost, a place borne of conflict, internal and external. In its conception it could not, and then did not, invite debate, and now, through its - and mine - internal contradictions it does. You have to agree that despite all and any of my character flaws I am leaving plenty of room for discussion and debate of anything, A to Z; and that's already says something.

I take pleasure in contradicting myself, but that doesn't mean I do not take pleasure in others (especially as skillful and you, Derek, Paul and Boon), who often take apart my contradictions; it is on this dialogue that I thrive. It is precisely this fact that had brought so many interesting people together here.

So, my love, do not make the same mistake my mother makes, time after time: do not read contention as aggression; read it as curiosity; after all, look how much debate was generated out of a seemingly moot point? As long as you understand that this, as almost everything else in life, except love and poetry, is simply bullshit (although the aforementioned two are also a sort of exquisite bullshit, heh), you will find the strange peace I have found here.

Now, what do you think of the offer I have made today? All I ask of you is that you do not hurry to say "No" to me; no names; even nicknames - if you so wish; but it would be a great honour and point of personal progress to have you contribute to mig81.com (since you have definitely been doing so already) - on your own terms.

Finally, "the tale" deserves a Nobel Prize. This is, yes, yes it most definitely is, the best poem I have ever read. Everything has its place; everything works on every level. I adore it; I adore you. Marry me. ;)

P.S. I fixed the tabs, although I think the poem is much better without them. Try simplifying your visual diction.

then remove them. i only put tabs in because it helps me 'hear' the poem better in my head. its really for my reference for when i get off my ass and read my stuff one day.

sometimes they work. sometimes they don't.

fine not in black and white but in terms of... structuredness.

i mean walking around naked in YOUR room. or even around your house. or not wearing underwear in public under short skirts.

and who the hell said that the internet is not bound by the same constraints on the world????? (if you say you, i swear i will ... stab myself) its the same people. same bullshit.

we like to pretend we're more honest when there are no barriers, where no one sees us, but when its advertised to the world at large, or simply to the people that matter to you, then we are in the same net, trap, as we are in the 'real' (and i hesitate to say this because well... it's all real and you would likely argue that the internet is more real).

i only ask that you give due consideration to Tom judging what is necessity and existence, because you are not him. you are not there in his shoes. true, his parents probably did the freaky (maybe in freakier terms) but it may still hurt their sensibilities. you may not concern yourself with that - but i do think i understand tom and his wife.

i myself know my mother could handle a lot of the perversions i hold, but for her sanity i do not reveal them. you respect that. you respect that you shouldn't post things for third parties, respect that tom and his wife don't want things posted for third parties.

the world judges itself mike. no need to do it for them.

my poetry will grace whatever website is closest at the time. if it is of relation to you, i will post them here. is that fair?

(ps. i do believe that the world is a fair place. but i'm christian remember?)

Mhumm. I will do it; this is a very interesting approach to poetry.

Structuredness, is it? ;) No matter what, the Internet is a public place; no metaphor can conceal this fact. If Tom wants his blog to be a perfect replica of his imperfect existence, he should keep it under lock and key and only let a select few see it (ooh, a little too close to home, I know; still, that sort of secrecy does serve its purpose, does it not?)

Fair enough; the Internet is bound by certain social (and legal) constraints that, speaking seriously, except on mig81.com, I do not set (if anyone here says the word "Netiquette," I will murder them in cold blood); and still, it is the most public place there can be. Engaging the world using an ultimately-public locale, we are running the risk of inviting commentary on all things from any type of person; Tom is being a crybaby.

Do not conflate my words, my love: "public" and "real" are two different things; yes, the Global Interweb is the most public any place in the world can get - but it is definitely not real: one can hardly convey an emotion right on the Internet, and even so, after years of knowing a person we often get it wrong, when a simple muscular twitch in the real world would suffice to get the point across. Thus, in a way, the Internet is even more of a harmless place for people like Tom, and yet...

Now, a) Sensibilities are not real; they are social constructions, just like pride, arrogance, and good, old gentille politesse, and, as such, they should not be indulged in, let alone respected. A good example, from my own personal experience, was when Paul and I got to the point when hardly anything we said to each other could hurt the other, since we have transcended the sensibility of offense (well, he better than I, for an obvious reason, but the point still stands).

b) Again, do not infer statements from my words so lightly: just because I refuse to submit to Tom's request does not mean I do not understand him, or his parents; I do, and I still choose to not give a fuck; to stop saying anything that is spinning on the tip of my tongue, about to spill, is to say a lie; and I'm saying quite enough lies in the course of my daily life, as it were.

c) Yet again; you have necessity; Tom's parents won't do anything to him; not even get too pissed off, probably, since it's some asshole they don't even know posting shit on his site, not even him; and, as for his wife's RCMP dad, yet again: fuck him; and besides, he's not stupid; everyone knows that more than half of Vancouver teens and twixters toke up; so fucking what? If Tom doesn't do it at the family dinner, he's safe.

Anyways, if the world judged itself, it would be a fair place to live in; but it is not. Yes, your Christian sensibilities tell you the world is fair; now you tell me in what ways, recounting examples from the your personal experiences and those of your peers; please.

God is here, among us, in some form, I've no doubts about that; he has crazy-ass plans, I know this too; but he doesn't give a fuck. To say we are not able to comprehend his plans is a) inane and b) escapist. My god is my friend: he tells me when I fuck up, what I did wrong, and what I have to do to get something in return; he talks to me frequently and acts like a stern father. He tells me that my mistakes and triumphs are still mine, despite the world rolling along on its rails, as it were. Well, there you go; I guess I'm back being a Compatibilist again, heh.

Ah, so you are just like the kitty-cat, coming and going as she pleases, calling no one master. Fair enough, then, fair enough; although, I am now insanely jealous now to hear where may be other websites. Whose blogs are you cheating on me with, eh, sweetie? ;)

Christian kitty in sexy stockings...well, I can't blame you.

now those are long post. So I make it short. Say whatever you like and be liked for whatever you said. Unfortunately this would only be true if peopel understood what you say.

Yes, exactly; thank you. So how's FanEdited/CBB going? Any exciting, new developments?

Well, ia m sure you know all the current nes. the website is flourishing with life and development. I am very proud to be part of it. And as for CBB. Our new fanedit is close to be finished: Blade 3 - Behead the king edition.
This little bugger took a long time to get done.

I give up. alienate people then. because that IS what you're doing. then again... you are a bit of a misogynistic pig (which for some insane reason i dont mind and sometimes find endearing) but i dont know. sensibilities are indeed social constructs but your lack of them is in and of itself a sensibility. Bear with me.

you take offense that someone would censor you (or try to) and it offends you. why? well because you think that your way is right. that's pride right there. that you correct others english and lives and whatever else is arrogance. all these are symptomatic of your distaste for sensibilities which result in the very sensibilities you abhor. i'm not telling you its hypocritical. im saying you're indulging yourself to think that you can post something on someone else's website, then react in anger when they ask you not to anymore.

fine so tom and his wife are ganging up on you - but it's their blog and you should have respected that. much like you delete comments that you find are... detrimental to your website (ie: threats or whatever else).

i do think the world is fair precisely because things work in balances. you went through a shitty period and now you're in a good period - is that not fair?

i do agree that you should say whatever you like and be liked for whatever you say - but respect others enough that if they don't like it shut the hell up. its not about liking other people. it about being respected yourself. *shrug* well whatever. im not your keeper or master or whatever. and im rather tired of this topic.

To bear with you is one thing I can do. ;) Hey, I didn't declare a war on sensibilities at-large; I declared a war on prudish sensibilities, having defined those in the debate above.

Mhumm. This is very interesting; I don't know whether to agree or disagree with you on this one yet: is the need and/or striving to maintain one's words intact a point of pride or a point of principle? Well, the continuation of your argument is not entirely valid: I have recently made an open invitation to the Kartmazovs to discuss the topic here, on mig81.com, where not a word would be deleted, unless the extreme case of disclosure of information extra-sensitive to the daily well-being of one of the persons involved occurred (i.e. disclosure of documents, names, numbers or dates not directly relevant to the person disclosing them).

I believe there is a difference between censoring your own blog (and thus, your thoughts), because mommy and daddy need to believe a lie about you, and deleting non sequitur comments. Compared to the handful of comments I have deleted (amongst them a couple of death threats, heh, upon yours truly, and a couple of pieces of information requested by others to be removed), there are currently more comments posted on mig81.com than entries.

To say that the world is fair because eventually everything reaches a natural balance through the normal distribution curve, or entropy, or probability, is to say nothing. That's like saying "Hastings Street is safe, because, even though you got mugged and beaten there yesterday, today someone picked up the wallet you dropped and handed it back to you." It does not compute.

In my world, respecting people amounts to pandering to an invisible sensibility, but, get this: if I say whatever the hell I want to a person and they are not offended, does it not mean that person and I are quite well-attuned to each other's mannerisms and are thus able to transcend each other's bullshit? I think it does; but, then again, this is still all bullshit, nonsense that applies only to the world of the Internet, outside of which I am bound and gagged by the rules of Society. I don't know why you take all of this so seriously, although I really did appreciate our discussion.