Today I have faced a spectacle so disgusting and outrageous that I am hereby going to break my recent Japanese-only blogging policy and rant a little. Let me get straight to the point. Critical Mass: What the fuck? I have probably not seen a bigger, more pointless or more ego-stroking event since the 2003 Iraq War protests or the recent 4:20 "event."
Yes, a long time ago I was optimistic about "protests" for "social change". Hey, I said to myself, we have so many progressive things here to safeguard: gay marriage, socialised medicare, equal rights for all, oh, and the best bud in the world. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it appears that it is no longer enough for the new generation of homegrown, middle-class, publicity-seeking whiners to enjoy the benefits of their lives - they also have to fuck it up for everyone else every once in a while.
Oh, sure, it's great to see a few thousand people come out to toke up in front of the Art Gallery. Please, light one up for me, buddy! Assert your god-given right to be a glassy-eyed stoner. Oh, and now - wonderful - take up the road in a messy, law-defying, self-righteous "mass." Please prove to us what bad people we all are by blocking up Downtown traffic. That will surely end Western dependency on fossil fuels. Right.
Do you know what is going to happen now, boys and girls of this little anti-establishment? One: no more special bike lanes or unsupervised events for you. You will get a route, put on your helmet and share the road like good, little children. Two: You think not sharing your route with the police would show everyone what incredible Guevaran rebels you are? Prepare for the mayor to come down hard on that pathetic puppet, Jim Chu. You are "optimistic"?! You've got to be fucking kidding me!
By the way, if you think my grandparents (in their mid-70s) are going to dust off their (non-existent) bikes and putter up from Cambie and 41st to Central Library, or if you think that my father (in his mid-50s) is going to get his bike and casually cycle to his Downtown office from Granville and 70th...well, the Massers obviously have a few rather pressing problems to attend to, before they cork up our streets.